Owning Her Space

Real stories. Real women. Real next steps.

  • Protecting your space isn’t selfish. It’s self-respect.

    Life isn’t perfect.
    It doesn’t follow a clean structure.
    And at times, let’s be honest, it’s just plain hectic. Well, mine is at least!

    The point isn’t to believe you can control everything.

    The point is to understand that, at any moment, you can choose what you give priority to.

    And those priorities shift.

    What mattered deeply six months ago may not matter in the same way today.
    Clinging to everything at once is what leaves us drained.

    Instead of trying to hold it all together perfectly, give yourself permission to reassess.

    And learn to say no.

    No isn’t something to fear.
    No is a boundary.
    No is clarity.
    No protects your time and your energy.

    Saying no to a friend’s invitation doesn’t mean you don’t value the friendship.
    It means you’re protecting your energy right now.

    And your true friends, your tribe, will understand.
    Like a comfortable sofa, they adapt to your shape. They love you for who you are, not for how available you are.

    If you ever feel the pressure to say yes just so you don’t let someone down, pause.

    Don’t say yes and then resent having said yes.

    Pause.
    Choose.

    If you go, go fully and enjoy it.
    If you don’t, say no with kindness, and remove the guilt.

    It’s your life.

    Protecting your space isn’t selfish.
    It’s self-respect.

  • You’re not short on time. You’re short on intentionality.

    When I talk to friends about Owning Her Space, the response I hear most often is:

    “You’re superwoman. I don’t have the time to do something like that.”

    I understand where that comes from.
    We’re busy. We’re tired. Life is full.

    But I don’t think this is really about time.

    Because the truth is, we all have the same amount of it.

    What differs is how consciously we choose to use it.

    I’m not talking about becoming hyper-productive or turning life into a series of optimised minutes.
    I’m talking about noticing where time quietly leaks away — often without us realising.

    Endless scrolling.
    Background television.
    The kind of tired distraction that doesn’t really rest us, but fills the space anyway.

    I do it too.

    Recently, I read 4,000 Weeks by Oliver Burkeman, a book that puts a very simple idea front and centre: the average human life is about four thousand weeks long.

    Not to scare us. But to remind us that time is finite — and therefore meaningful.

    That question stayed with me:

    How many of those weeks do I want to spend on autopilot?
    And how many do I want to invest in building a life that feels more intentional?

    This isn’t about guilt. And it’s certainly not about giving up all pleasure or rest.

    Rest matters. Joy matters. Switching off matters.

    But so does purpose.

    Because when you have a clearer sense of what you’re working towards — financially, personally, emotionally — time starts to organise itself differently.

    You stop saying “I don’t have time”
    and start asking “Is this how I want to use it?”

    That shift alone is powerful.

    Not because it forces action.
    But because it restores choice.

    Ultimately, what we do with our time is exactly that — a choice.
    And like all choices, it’s deeply personal.

    But awareness is the first step.

    Not judgement.
    Not pressure.
    Just noticing.

    Because we don’t get more time.
    We only get to decide what we do with the time we already have.

    You don’t need to change everything.
    You just need to decide what matters enough to make room for it.

  • Clarity First: where I am vs where I want to go

    At some point, the question shifts.

    It stops being “What do I feel like doing next?”
    and becomes: “Where am I, really… and where do I want to go?”

    Not in a superficial way.
    Not “maybe I need a holiday in the sun” (although I’m not against that either!).

    But in a deeper, more honest way.

    What do I want this next chapter to mean?
    What do I want it to feel like, day to day?
    What do I want to be proud of five years from now?

    Because it’s the decisions I make today that will shape my tomorrow.

    For me, one answer has become very clear: I want to move away from relying entirely on a monthly wage.

    Not because I dislike my work; I don’t.
    But because I want choice.

    The ability to choose how I work, when I work, and how much of my time truly belongs to me. And I know that doesn’t happen by accident. It’s built.

    When I looked at this more closely, I also had to be honest about something else:
    my personal financial knowledge wasn’t as strong as I thought.

    Yes, I’m good at budgeting.
    Yes, I can read a company’s financial statements.

    But understanding how money can work for me, on a personal level?
    That was a gap. And a big one.

    And that was a good thing, because once you see a gap clearly, you can do something about it.

    Over the past 12 months, I’ve made a quiet commitment to educate myself.
    I’ve been reading financial books. Listening to podcasts. Learning the language. Trying to understand how money really works — not in theory, but in real life.

    And to my surprise, it’s been… fun. Really!

    The learning.
    The stretching of how my brain thinks (and sometimes doesn’t).
    The sense of progress.

    Because knowledge doesn’t just give you information.
    True knowledge gives you perspective.
    And perspective gives you freedom.

    It helps you stop panicking and start assessing.
    Stop guessing and start deciding.
    Stop drifting and start planning.

    But learning alone isn’t enough.

    The next step is action.

    That’s what this chapter is about for me. I’m still learning — but I’ve also started putting things in place. Not radical changes. Not walking away from responsibility. I still have a day-to-day job and commitments to honour.

    But the actions I’m taking now will change my life in five years’ time.

    I have a clear plan. And with that, a sense of control. And that feels good.

    I also see many capable, talented women stuck in a financial position that limits their ability to choose what comes next.
    They’ve worked hard.
    They’ve made sacrifices.
    They’ve supported families and careers on the promise that working hard and getting a good job would be enough.

    Sadly, for many of us, it isn’t.

    Financial freedom requires understanding how money works — and learning how to make it work for you.

    I’m not there yet.
    But I am now actively working towards it.

    And if I can do that — thoughtfully, realistically, and alongside a full life — then so can you.

    You don’t need to become a financial expert.
    You just need enough knowledge to make choices you trust.

  • Doing well isn’t the same as being free

    I am loving my life. Truly.
    I’ve worked hard to make it happen. I’ve never taken any of it for granted, and I’m incredibly grateful for it all.

    And yet, when I start thinking more deliberately about the years ahead, a quiet question begins to surface:

    Is this life set up in a way that gives me the freedom to choose later on?

    Not free in a dramatic, drop-everything sense.
    But free to slow down if I choose to.
    Free to change direction.
    Free to say ‘no’, without worrying about the consequences.

    That’s when it became clear to me that doing well and being free aren’t the same thing.

    You can earn well and still move at a pace you didn’t consciously choose, not because you’re irresponsible, but because life is full and the system keeps moving.
    The school or college runs.
    The sports runs.
    The Mum-taxi duties.
    The endlessly empty fridge.
    The daily what’s for dinner? question (which somehow gets boring and tedious far quicker than it should!).
    Work, of course. And life in general.

    For a few years, I postponed those bigger questions.
    I’ll figure it out as I go was my go-to mantra.

    But postponing doesn’t make questions disappear.
    It just quietly hands them to your future self.

    At some point, I realised I needed to shift a gear.
    To pause, audit where I was, and make conscious choices to start to build my tomorrow.

    This isn’t about wishing I’d done something ten years ago (like understanding financial freedom sooner).
    It’s about being clear about where I am now, deciding where I want to go, and putting a realistic plan in place.

    It’s about making thoughtful changes today that will genuinely shape tomorrow.
    No judgement.
    Just clarity… and action.

    For me, that means that when I choose to slow down or shift gears, it’s a real choice, not a forced one.

    And that was the moment Owning Her Space stopped being an idea
    and started becoming a practice.

  • This isn’t about wanting more, it’s about wanting choice

    For a long time, I thought wanting more meant I was ungrateful.

    I have a great life. A career. A loving family. Stability. People I care about.
    I know how lucky I am, and I still do.

    But somewhere along the way, another thought started to surface:

    What if this isn’t about wanting more… but about wanting choice?

    Choice over how I spend my time.
    Choice over how long I keep working in the same way.
    Choice over how much energy I give — and where.

    It wasn’t dissatisfaction. It was awareness.

    Awareness that time isn’t endless.
    That energy shifts.
    That financial decisions made earlier, or avoided, start to matter more.

    I realised I didn’t want to reach a point where the only option left was to keep going because I had to.
    I wanted the freedom to choose, to slow down, change direction, or lean into something new, because I’d planned for it.

    That’s when the questions started to change.

    Not “What should I do next?”
    But “What kind of life am I actively creating?”

    This is the space I’m exploring now — and inviting you into.

    Not to rush.
    Not to panic.
    But to look clearly at where you are, what matters, and how you want the years ahead to feel.

    Because living well isn’t about having everything.
    It’s about having enough freedom to choose what matters most.